sex & the garden
the divorce garden
obsession, compulsion, denial
the garden: relationship breaker
to death do us part...or maybe not
gardens: masculine or feminine
in one way, i was a late bloomer. i started watching sex & the city when it was in reruns
and although i have nothing in common with carrie bradshaw, except a willingness to
examine sexual relationships, she did lead me down a garden path.
do relationships influences the gardens we make?
is leaving a garden, the same as leaving a relationship? do we suffer in the same ways
when we leave a garden we’ ve made as when we leave a relationship we’ ve made?
how do we heal ourselves?
by making a new garden or never making another garden?
i asked friend of mine why she makes gardens and she told me.
it’ s a compulsion, an obession.
i asked another friend of mine and she said: it’ s a mediative experience,
it’ s the one place i can be alone with my thoughts and work on my life.
another friend told me that gardeners are like painters,
painters never stop painting.
blame is one of the great emotions.
it is so convenient, so available, so uncomplicated.
i felt this was the best way of understanding my feelings
at leaving a garden i had made.
i relinquished reason.
i blamed the dissolution of my relationship on my garden,
but then i began to think it was probably the other way around.
can you willfully destroy a garden you’ ve made?
yes, absolutely my friend Pat announced one sunday morning in her new apartment
devoid of anything green , not even a pot of geraniums.
revenge, it seems, is more powerful, then the healing power of any garden.
get over it.
nothing last forever.
starting over is an opportunity.
you can do all the things you couldn’ t do at Xs’ house.
these are the pieces of bad advice my friends gave Pat.
she couldn’ t hear it.
she was heartbroken at the loss of her garden.